Tricky Keg Stands

Bad Karma Or Just Paying It Foward

I would like to apologize to the owner of the black Alero who may or may not ever notice the small chip near the passenger side rear wheel well.

I would also like to apologize to the children, the People, and the goats... especially the goats.

Rewind 20 minutes

Me: Really pissed off - stuck behind a long line of cars.

We're stopped. There is no fatal accident; there is no crossing gaggle of baby geese... just a moron yielding for no one. Four blocks later the rage boils. I get stuck behind a GoldMinivan going 25 in a 45. I have to slam on my brakes for an SUV that has to slow down to 10 mph to make it around a corner.

Now I don't blame her for being careful... it is not her fault she can't turn a corner without flipping over. However, i do question her logic in the decision to purchase a truck...

OK, so once I got around the SUV and onto the Interstate, it was smmoooth sailing. In fact, it was probably one of the smoothest commutes to work, ever. Everyone kept to the right. People who passed in the left lanes did so with stamina and guts. It was a perfect drive to work. I even got a rock star spot in the garage.

KERRRRRRRAXCKKKKKK!

"oh shit..."

The Pontiac next to me now has a small paint chip thanks to yours truly. Now, I haven't tapped a car in a parking lot in years, probably 10, but today, I did.

My carelessness was bad, and I realize this, but considering my car went from 0 to 25 door dings in 3 years lets me know that everyone fucks up from time to time. Heck, I'd even venture to say a lot of people don't care about the car next to them, and/or they're too fat to exit the vehicle without opening their door all the way... with conviction. Assholes.

This got me thinking. My morning's commute started out extremely crappy. Then it totally redeemed itself... Sure, I was bitching to myself, however I acted patient and nice. I did not honk. I did not tailgate. I did not wave my fist and curse.

Was the pointless traffic a test? Was the smooth half of the ride simply karma evening up the score for my patience and goodwill?

Well, no.

Karma is more about an individual's actions and the effect of those actions. The problem was I didn't do anything. However, it still felt like some higher being felt bad about the whole situation and paid me off by filling the highway with amazing drivers.

My mind fills with thoughts of Yin and Yang, Karma, Qi (chi), and the polarity within - equaling out my being late for work... which is exactly why I swung my door right into that unsuspecting Pontiac.

It took all that to make me realize something everyone already knows... it is a concept that is so simple; it is a concept that no one really talks about because there is no point.

Errr... that kind of happens to me a lot.

I'm like, "Wow, did you realize that the intro for Forever by Papa Roach is the chorus of that Bloodhound Gang song?"

And everyone in the room is like, "Ummm, yeah. Do it like they do on the Discovery Channel... duh."

This was one of those moments.

Remember the movie, Pay it Forward? Of course you do. It starred the adorable Haley Joel Osmet and Helen Hunt. It was the feel-good movie of Y2K. No wonder Oprah was all over that shit! I thought that movie had some sort of ground-breaking new ideas, and I left the theatre thinking, "How clever! Whoever wrote that has an amazing but simple idea!"

Well... No.

Paying it forward is really just actively trying to outbalance bad Karma with good. People have been talking about that for thousands of years... duh.

My point is I suddenly stopped feeling bad about the ding. Here's why. I know I will get more door dings in the future. I just paid it forward... with a punk rock edge.