Drunk

Tricky Keg Stands

A collection of various and sundry things.


Words:
essays, creative nonfiction and random shiz
Projects:
bands, cars, nerd stuff
Life:
photos, resume, etc.


I Need You (alternate ending)

Summer, 1983. In bare feet on wet grass we're jumping past puddles to the trampoline she got for her 10th birthday.

I hold her hand to help her onto the tramp. More worried about holding her skirt down than falling over, we flop over the edge. She lets out a cute yelp, laughing as we crawl to the middle. The mat is damp, but we don't care.

We lie on our backs, side-by-side, just like always. There's not a star in the sky and the street lights shine with orange halos through the thick air.

Stretching her hands toward the sky she says, "Do you think you'll have trouble remembering me someday?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. I mean, we've been friends forever."

"yeah?"

"Next year we'll be so far apart. I'll be sad when you forget about me."

She turns over and starts bouncing. "I almost don't want to go."

She springs up and comes down hard. With that, the trampoline bounced me directly under her. Coming down on me in a flailing mess of arms and legs, she yells, "JACK!" She grabbed onto me hard to stop the bounce.

With her arms wound tightly around my waist she yells, "Oh my god, I need you!"

"Whaaaahh?" I tense up.

She looks up at me, "I need you!"

I push her away, "but..." my jaw drops.

"Oh my god, are you ok????" She's laughing.

"You need me?" I'm shaking my head. "But, we've been friends for..."

Still laughing she cuts me off, "No, I need you."

"I know. I heard what you said."

"No! No! No! I neeeeeeed you."

"But... But... What about..."

"No, dammit!" She points to her knee. "I kneed you. I kneed you in the balls. Are you ok?"

"oh... yeah, I'm fine... Are you?"

She nods, "yeah, I'm fine."

I hesitate for a second. "Isn't it funny how the highway always sounds further away on nights like this?"

"ummm... yeah."

(see the original here)


What is this all about?

I threw an anonymous site together in 2004 as sort of a repository of raw notes, stories, ideas and pictures. I kept my name off the site so that I could really let loose and say anything I wanted.

Four years later I realized that:

A) I didn't have anything that needed to be anonymous.
B) Few people stumbled upon the site.
C) Most who did promptly left.
D) The whole thing was damn ugly and difficult to navigate.

It was time for a change.

I took out the trash, spit shined the leftovers and did my best to turn it into a typical, self-serving, narcissistic, personal shrine to myself. Don't you just love it?

If so, be sure to hit the contact page and let me know what you think. Feel free to tell me how neat I am and how amazing and life changing you found my website. No, really, do it. Now.

Please? Seriously. Maybe we can like meet up and hang out or something. I like lunch. In fact, I eat lunch almost every day. What's that? You eat lunch, too? See, we have so much in common. I knew we'd be pals! I'm so glad you contacted me via my website.


Inspirational quote goes here...