FADE IN:

In a small bedroom with the sun peeking delicately through dark drapes, two figures are visible on the bed. Their pasty skin and soft bodies fit neatly with the plain, off white bedroom.

Her thigh peeks through a split in the sheets. With dark brown hair and pursed lips she turns to look at her partner. She speaks:

Audrey

Unless you can turn yourself into a pizza in the next 5 minutes you're going to have to get out.

Steve's jaw drops. Faintly in the distance, a dog barks.

THE END

I did not come up with the pizza line. I stole it. I'd give credit but I'm not sure he would want his name on this site. If you must know, let me know and i'll ask him if it is cool... okthxbai

What is this all about?

I threw an anonymous site together in 2004 as sort of a repository of raw notes, stories, ideas and pictures. I kept my name off the site so that I could really let loose and say anything I wanted.

Four years later I realized that:

A) I didn't have anything that needed to be anonymous.
B) Few people stumbled upon the site.
C) Most who did promptly left.
D) The whole thing was damn ugly and difficult to navigate.

It was time for a change.

I took out the trash, spit shined the leftovers and did my best to turn it into a typical, self-serving, narcissistic, personal shrine to myself. Don't you just love it?

If so, be sure to hit the contact page and let me know what you think. Feel free to tell me how neat I am and how amazing and life changing you found my website. No, really, do it. Now.

Please? Seriously. Maybe we can like meet up and hang out or something. I like lunch. In fact, I eat lunch almost every day. What's that? You eat lunch, too? See, we have so much in common. I knew we'd be pals! I'm so glad you contacted me via my website.

Tricky Keg Stands

A collection of various and sundry things.

Words:

Projects:

Life:

FADE IN:

Audrey

THE END

What is this all about?

Inspirational quote goes here...