Tricky Keg Stands

Some Thoughts

Too Much Dr. Drew

If you smoke, quit. If you say you only smoke when you're out at the bars or drinking, you are a smoker with a pathetic excuse. Quit today. You'll probably need help quitting. Ain't nothing wrong with that. Help is available everywhere. A lot of it is free. Go get some.

You can't feel good if you only eat crap. "Eat food, mostly plants, not too much." Don't cover everything in salt or sugar. Try not to eat too much fake food like twinkies, sweeteners, soda, and velveeta. Once you cut the crap out of your diet, you'll realize good foods (raw veggies, real fruits, whole grains) taste pretty good. Pretty soon that extra large, extra mocha frappe will start tasting like the disgusting cup of fat and sugar it is.

If you find yourself starving in the middle of the day, don't gorge on cookies. This is your body slapping you because you should have eaten better at your last meal. Have a piece of fruit and wait a half hour. If you're violently hungry, it might be because you recently O.D.'d on sugars. Your body is crashing which can't be good. Have another piece of fruit and vow to cut back on the super sweet coffee breaks.

If you're big, try replacing soda with water. If you eat 2 pizzas for dinner, try cutting it back to a pizza and a half. Don't do anything drastic or you'll wind up eating a box of cookies at 2am. Remember, it probably took years to end up where you are now... How can you imagine it won't take years to get back to where you want to be?

If you get winded climbing up a flight of stairs, try taking those stairs a few times a day... every day. You were designed to hunt down wild game in thick forests on foot and kill them with spears... If you can't climb a flight of stairs, there is a problem.

Are you depressed? You might be clinical. I mean, really fucking crazy. Go get checked out, but be smartly-critical of your doctors. Chances are you aren't bonkers... your life might just kind of suck right now. Take steps to make your life not suck so much.

There is a lot to be said here if you're not really clinical. Health care professionals know what they're doing. If you choose to seek their help, remember that some are better than others and everyone has to eat. You're paying for a service. If something doesn't seem to be working out, shop around. Don't forget, YOU are the only person who can fix you. Doctors are guides who help you see your mistakes and learn from yourself. If your doctor isn't pointing out your flaws in a constructive manner that teaches you to mend your ways, find someone else who does. If you bounce from doctor to doctor, take a minute to reflect. Maybe you're not listening to them.

Admit your mistakes. Hell, embrace your mistakes and learn from them.

If you find yourself low on gas, late for work, caught in the rain without an umbrella and stuck behind a pack of crappy drivers, in other words, caught up in an ironic alanis morissette song, remember this... The whole world is not out to get you. You're having a really shitty day. There isn't a higher power making your day shitty. No one else cares about your shitty day. No one took the time to purposely make your day shitty. Everyone has to deal with their own shit. Some do it better than others. Try to deal without making someone else's day shitty, too.

Some people take their shitty-ness out on you. Remove them from your life. Don't take your frustrations out on others... They might remove you.

Chemicals aren't good for you and definitely are not a substitute for whatever it was you were missing in the first place. Addictions are terrible things. If you think you cannot live without something, try giving it up. Things that you really need (like air, water, sunlight, art & love) don't count.