The Inventor

A worn man walked in and ordered a Gentleman Jack. He dropped something heavy on the bar (I jumped because it freaked me out) and sat on the stool next to me. It looked like some sort of muffler clamp with a threaded rod and a piece of angle iron welded to it.

"You know what that is, boy?"

I put my drink down. "No."

"Thats more money than you'll ever see in your life, son."

"It looks more like a muffler clamp to me."

"This is NOT(!) a muffler clamp." He picked it up and twirled it on his fat finger. "This is a muffler clamp... WITH ADAPTER. I invented it."

He put it on the bar and continued. "Any chump can make a muffler clamp, son. My muffler clamp has this adapter." He petted it like a hamster. "That's what makes it special. I got me a patent on it. Look it up - 'Muffler Clamp with Adapter.'"

"I thought you just told me it was money."

"I sold it to AutoZone for two-hundred-thousand dollars today. Let's drink some whiskey."

Drink 2

What is this all about?

I threw an anonymous site together in 2004 as sort of a repository of raw notes, stories, ideas and pictures. I kept my name off the site so that I could really let loose and say anything I wanted.

Four years later I realized that:

A) I didn't have anything that needed to be anonymous.
B) Few people stumbled upon the site.
C) Most who did promptly left.
D) The whole thing was damn ugly and difficult to navigate.

It was time for a change.

I took out the trash, spit shined the leftovers and did my best to turn it into a typical, self-serving, narcissistic, personal shrine to myself. Don't you just love it?

If so, be sure to hit the contact page and let me know what you think. Feel free to tell me how neat I am and how amazing and life changing you found my website. No, really, do it. Now.

Please? Seriously. Maybe we can like meet up and hang out or something. I like lunch. In fact, I eat lunch almost every day. What's that? You eat lunch, too? See, we have so much in common. I knew we'd be pals! I'm so glad you contacted me via my website.

Tricky Keg Stands

A collection of various and sundry things.

Words:

Projects:

Life:

The Inventor

What is this all about?

Inspirational quote goes here...