Now, i gotta say, i'm all over a dirty nurse... but a dirty doctor? check this out.

Winter 2001, Copper Mountain, Summit County Colorado.

We're riding up the ski lift after I took a hell of a tumbling fall in soft powder. I was being retarded and smacked a ski lift support with the tail of my board. This got us talking about getting hurt and breaking bones while doing something retarded.. mostly in drunken stoopers, but I digress.

I mention my doctor and how she is kind of a mess. Really, she is the fattest, smelliest, nastiest thing. Very nice and attentive, which is why I continue to see her, but I do my best to not let her touch me anymore.

The day I went in to get some toe fungus checked out was the proof that I am not just being weird or biased because she's going bald. She grabbed my big toe and started scaping on my nasty toenail with her fingernail.. no gloves. I don't want to know what else she does w/o gloves.

Anyway, back to the ski lift. We're talking about doctors and I tell them about how mine is wack. One guy is like, "that's nothing, I used to work at some all you can eat buffet where this doctor and her family were regulars. They were the nastiest family I have ever seen. This woman (the doctor) had adopted a bunch of children but the thing is, she doesn't believe in hygiene. Her and her whole family stunk up the restaurant and touched all the food on the buffet.

"I heard her house was even worse. They had a bunch of pets but the funny part is the health department had to come in to clean it up. They found human feces on the floor along with the cat shit, puke, hair, the whole thing. It was the first time the health department had to help out a doctor."

I'm like, "Oopfph, what's her name so I make sure never to go there."

He's like, "Dr. _____ ________ her office is in ______"

WHAHAHAHHHA!! that's my doctor... my dirty, dirty doctor.